Chapter Seven

Tezuka had been looking for Fuji for alomost 2 hours and he didn’t have a clue where else he could search for him. He had called him on his sell at first, but as expected Fuji never answered the phone. Why would he anyway, if he saw Tezuka’s number on the display?

So he went to see, if Fuji was at home in person, not wanting to call first, for he was afraid Fuji would leave the very moment he got to know Tezuka was looking for him. But there was nobody at home.

Tezuka checked on some tennis courts wondering, if Fuji was probably playing somewhere else. After all he knew Fuji enjoyed playing tennis and he hadn’t been playing during training. But there was no Fuji. He found himself looking for Fuji at some special camera stores that he knew Fuji always stopped by, but he wasn’t there to be found either.

There is no way I can possibly find him. He could be anywhere and I’m running out of ideas what he could be doing right now… Looks like there’s nothing I to do but to surrender. … Wait, there’s one more thing I could do. If I don’t know where Syusuke is, that doesn’t mean nobody knows where he is, does it? Probably there’s somebody who could give me some advice…

Taking his sell phone he started to read through the numbers saved in the directory.

Mh, Oishi’s always been a good friend trying to help me through this, but I doubt he has any better ideas about where to look for Syusuke. Kikumaru could help me, but that bouncing guy wound not be able to keep anything to himself. And I don’t want the whole school to talk about Syusuke and me before I’m not completely sure, that Syusuke doesn’t mind.

Who else could possibly help me? Who else is a close friend of Syusuke? … Kawamura!

Happy that he had saved the number of every member of his team he called Kawamura.

“Kawamura? This is Tezuka.”

“Oh, captain. This is rare. May I help you?”

“I’m sorry to bother you, but – well, I was wondering if you happened to know where I could find Fuji.”

Kawamura couldn’t help but chuckle at the words Tezuka had chosen. He was obviously a little nervous and even more, embarrassed.

“Well, I don’t know for sure, but he has been going to the library quite often lately.”

“To the library?”

“I’d suggest you try to find him there.”

“Ok, thank you. Thank you very much.”

“You’re welcome.”

When Tezuka arrived at the library he stared at the long rows of bookshelves.

How am I supposed to find him here? This is even worse than a super market. I never remembered this place to be that big. But back then I have always been looking for sone special books. I’ve never just been standing here not knowing what I want.

Students passed him.

Wait. I know what I want. I want to find Syusuke and Syusuke came here to look for something he wanted. School’s over, so what could he have been looking for? What kind of books does he read?

Tezuka wandered to the shelves of novels, short stories and poems. But Syusuke was nowhere to be seen. He was close to giving up again.

Maybe I should ask the woman at the reception if she had seen him.

He took some steps to her direction.

This is ridiculous. There are so many people passing by all day, why would she notice Syusuke? Think again, Kunimitsu. What could be the subject of Syusuke’s interest? What does he like? He liked spicy food, taking photos … Photography!

—

“You’re no longer going to fool me, Fuji Syusuke.”

“I don’t have to, you’re quite successful doing so yourself.”

“Think whatever you want. You don’t know what it feel’s like.”

“What are you talking about.”

Fuji looked at him defiantly.

“I want you, want you so badly that it hurts! Don’t you see I love you?”

“You’re blind. Blind with love. Otherwise you’d see that I don’t fell anything at all, Atobe.”

“You will. So there’s no need to care about it right now.”

“This is no fair.”

“I don’t care as long as you’re mine, Syusuke.” Saying so he pressed Fuji even harder against the bookshelf leaving Fuji no chance of escape.

“It hurts, Atobe.”

Atobe didn’t pay any attention. Instead he leaned closer attempting to kiss Fuji.

This can’t be happening. It must be a bad dream. I won’t let you toy around with me! My first kiss is reserved for somebody else.

Fuji turned his head around making sure Atobe wouldn’t meet his lips.

“There’s no need to save anything for your captain. As far as I know he’s about to move to Germany leaving you behind.”

Instead of trying to kiss Fuji’s lips again, Atobe places his lips on Fuji’s exposed neck making Fuji stand still in horror not moving an inch. Soon the light kissing turned to a more longing sucking.

Tezuka, where are you? Where the hell are you? Why does this have to happen? I don’t want this. I want to vanish, to escape.

— — —

When Tezuka finally arrived at the right row of bookshelves he didn’t believe his eyes.

Syusuke, is that you? Did you forget about me that fast? Did you already come over me, Syusuke. I never thought I’d lose you, not to this guy after all.

He turned around.

Look again Kunimitsu, do you really think Syusuke is enjoying this? He’s not fighting either, is he?

I can’t believe I fell for this angel. I can’t believe I fell for you, Syusuke. I’ve been enjoying your company for such a long time, I’ve been always feeling comfortable around you. I never admitted it, but I’ve never cared so much about somebody. I’ve never been this close to a relationship. But I ruined it all.

Tezuka was about to leave, when his ears picked a sound of the scenery behind him.

— — —

Fuji felt his eyes watering unable to voice his protest. Atobe’s firm grip kept him in place. When Fuji felt Atobe’s tongue on his skin he finally found the strength to struggle. “Stop it.”

It was not as loud as Fuji had intended it to be.

“What was that, I didn’t hear you.”

“Stop it.”

After kissing Fuji’s neck close to his ear making Fuji shiver, Atobe answered grining: “That didn’t sound all too convincing either.”

“It did to me.”

Startled Atobe looked at the person interrupting. He didn’t even realise that he had loosened the grip on his prey before Fuji slipped away and left in a hurry not looking at Atobe or the one that had just rescued him. He just wanted to get away as fast as possible.

“It’s none of your business Tezuka.”

“You won’t touch him anymore.”

“It’s not my fault that you didn’t take your chance.”

“One mustn’t catch an angel.”

“That’s your opinion. It’s what you do.”

“One mustn’t catch an angel.” Tezuka repeated more to himself.

Atobe laughed at him cruelly. “Well, but it’s ok to break their wings, is it? It was you who made him feel miserable in the first place. Or are you trying to tell me, you never knew you hurt him?”

No answer.

“But soon enough you’ll be gone and there won’t be anybody keeping me from taking him, you know.”

“You won’t.”

“Try and stop me.”

Atobe gave him a mischievous grin and left Tezuka standing alone in the library. He looked at the ground seeing a book.

Syusuke must have droped it. At least it’s about photography. I’ll borrow it for him then.

— — —

Fuji was running aimlessly through the streets. He didn’t know where to go. He didn’t want Atobe to find him again, he felt helpless and vulnerable.

I feel alone, so alone.

Tears started streaming over his cheeks. Why was there nobody to protect him?

— — —

Fuji was not at home and again he didn’t answer his sell phone. He had to start all over again and he doubted it would be easier this time. The sky darkened and grey clouds approached. It was close to 6 pm and time for dinner.

Mother will sure enough call me any time asking why I’m not at home. I better get going before she’s angry with me again. I can’t help you now, Syusuke. I can’t help you as long as I don’t know where you are. As long as you won’t let me be close to you.

It stopped raining before Tezuka arrived home. He had not been taking an umbrella, therefor his clothes where drenched with cold water.

“Kunimitsu, dear. I’ve already been waiting for you. Dinner is almost ready.”

“Ok. Just give me a minute to change my clothes.”

“Of course. You better hurry before you catch a cold.”

Tezuka changed into some comfortable clothes and a shirt. Looking out of his window he let his gaze wander over the streets.

Syusuke, where are you?

In the rain a small figure catched Tezuka’s attention. Embracing himself there was a boy walking down the street. He seemed to be freezing, but watching him Tezuka felt suddenly warm. This boy’s shape didn’t look special at all, but his aura was warm. Shining through the darkness of the night.

“Kunimitsu, hurry up.”

The boy stopped in front of their house. Looking up Tezuka recognised his features.

“Syusuke!”

Running toward the front door he passed the kitchen.

“Kunimitsu, what’s wrong?”

He opened the door staring at Fuji, who was standing a few meters away. His clothes were drenched and water was dropping from the strands of his hair. Fuji tried to smile.

“Hi.”

Without hesistating anymore, Tezuka stepped out of the door taking the smaller boy into his arms. He could feel him shivering from cold.

“I’m sorry.”

“So am I.”

Fuji whispered and clenched his fists at Tezuka’s shirt, tears filling his eyes again. He couldn’t surpress them. He didn’t want to. Not anymore. He was tired of making everybody believe he was alright. Sobbing he let Tezuka hold him close.

“What do you think you’re doing? Get in, both of you.”

They didn’t move an inch. Instead Tezuka waited for Fuji to calm down.

“Want to come in?”

Fuji looked up at him and nodded. Nobody could tell the tears apart from the rain drops, but at the sight of his eyes, Tezuka simply knew Fuji had been crying a lot lately.

— — —

“What did you think you were doing out there? Walking through the rain like this!” His mother had already placed a towel on Fuji’s head who only managed to mumble his apologies. “And you! You just changed, now your clothes are wet again. You better find yourselves something dry and make sure your friend gets out of wet clothes, too.” Tezuka led Fuji to his room hearing his mother getting a mop to clean up the traces of water they had left on the floor. “Boys these days, I don’t understand them!”

“Your mum seems to be furious.”

“Don’t worry. It’s her way to show us she cares.”

Fuji couldn’t help but smile at this comment, but his smile faded when he entered Tezuka’s room. It looked much different from what he remembered. There was hardly any decoration left and boxes standing in one of the corners of the room and Fuji felt as if they were screeming right into his face. Telling him he was too late. Telling him, Tezuka would leave Japan soon.

“I’m afraid I don’t have anything in your size.”

“That’s ok.”

Tezuka surveyed him deciding Fuji would need new cothes from top to toe.

“Mh. I think it’s best you help yourselves. Take whatever you like, will you?”

“Thank you.”

They changed in silence neither of them thinking about leaving the room to do so. After all they had been doing so after tennis training for years now. There was nothing they hadn’t seen yet, was there?

When he had finished Tezuka observed Fuji who was still lacking a shirt. Obviously a little unsure of what to take.

“Wait, I think there’s a pullover that doesn’t fit me anymore. It ought to be fine for you.”

He looks so small, so thin, so dainty. Almost vulnerable. Has he always been this way? I can’t tell.

“It’s almost perfect, thank you.” Again Fuji gave him a smile.

Why is he smiling at me. I hurt him, hurt him without any acceptable reason. Is this a faked smile to make me feel better? No, it’s not. It’s not as wide as his usual ones, but it’s a sincere one.

Waiting for them in the kitchen Tezuka’s mother had prepared a large cup of hot tea for both of them. His mother didn’t ask any further questions and so they ate in silence. There was a lot to discuss for Tezuka and Fuji, but they wanted to do so alone.

“Is it ok for Fuji to stay for the night?”

His mother gave this a thought. Her son had been acting strange lately and she had a feeling it had something to do with this boy sitting next to him.

“Tezuka, it’s alright. I don’t want to bother you two.”

“Don’t worry about it – “

“Fuji, Fuji Syusuke.”

“Oh, so Fuji-kun. You really don’t have to worry about it.”

Fuji Syusuke. She remembered this name. She had never been interested in tennis, but she remembered others talking about him as the prodigy of her son’s team. At least that answered her unasked question who this boy was.