Chapter Six

When Oishi had finished to explain why he thought that Tezuka would truely love Fuji, Kawamura smiled at him.

“Well, that’s good news, isn’t it?”

“So you believe that Fuji loves him, too?”

“Of course. He said so himself. Or at least it was as much of a confession as you might get from Fuji.”

“That’s brilliant!”

“But Oishi, you know what happened downtown between Atobe and Fuji…”

“Atobe and Fuji?”

“Yea, looks like Atobe is trying his best to ask Fuji out.”

“Oh, that’s interesting. But I don’t think Fuji would give him a chance.”

“I hope so, too, but he told me that he’s thinking about giving in.”

“You must be kidding. Our Fuji thinks about dating Atobe Keigo from Hyotei?”

“That’s what I’m saying, yea.”

“Mh. – I hope Fuji’ll come to his senses. I mean, he can’t possibly love that guy. Tezuka’s the only one he loves.”

“Why doesn’t he confess to Tezuka then? It would make everything much easier.”

“It’s not that easy. You ought to know that in fact Fuji already did confess to our captain.”

“He did?” Oishi and Eiji asked in unision staring at their friend.

“Please promise me to keep this to yourselves, will you?”

“What went wrong?”

“As far as I know Tezuka pushed him away. That’s the reason why Fuji is not going to show up for practise anymore.”

Eiji was the first to break the silence.

“I don’t understand why Tezuka rejected him. He obviously loves Fuji! That doesn’t make any sense at all…”

“Considering that he’s about to leave for Germany and probably won’t come back, it makes a lot of sense after all” Oishi tried to defend his friend’s actions. “I mean it would probably make things harder for both of them. And I doubt that Tezuka would want to do that.”

“But now he’s making Fuji’s life similar to hell. Is that any better? Just because he wanted it the easier way Fuji is suffering. Fuji might think he can fool everybody with this smile of his, but I haven’t seen a real smile besides this fake one on his lips lately.”

“Yea. This is just like Fuji. Hiding everything just to make sure nobody’s worrying about him. Just to make sure we think he’s fine.”

“Mh.”

I should really try to talk some sense into Tezuka. I hope he’ll let me in the end. After all he’s getting quite annoyed of me asking so many questions…

— — —

The tensai didn’t show up for next day’s training either.

It’s all my fault, Syusuke. Why can’t you see, that it’s the best for us to just act as if nothing had ever happened? Or does it make things only easier for me? I’m surry, Syusuke. I didn’t mean to hurt you… I miss you.

“He’s not really his usual self, is he?” Momo asked Eiji who happened to stand next to him. “I mean, I’ve been chatting with various people now and Ryoma and I even tried to be extra loud, but he never let us run any laps.”

“Yea, he look’s a little distracted, doesn’t he?”

And I already thought he wouldn’t care at all about Fuji not showing up. Maybe I jugded him wrong and he cares more then we know. But that’s good news, isn’t it? At least this means it’s not too late.

“Ah – you seem to be a little distracted yourself, Eiji-senpai.”

“Hehe, maybe.”

“The weird thing is, that Oishi is not the one you’re staring at this time.”

“Momo!”

“Just kidding. You know something I don’t. And I guess it has something to do with the captain and Fuji-senpai.”

“You became quite a good observer, Momo. Just prey that everything’s going to work out, will you?”

“I never prayed.”

“Well, let’s have a match then.”

At another side of the court Kawamura watched his captain attentively.

Why don’t you open your eyes, Fujiko-chan. Tezuka never stopped loving you and he definitely doesn’t hate you. He cares for you more then anybody else ever could. You’re special to him, just as he’s special to you. I really hope you didn’t give up on him already and telling Eiji you’d give Atobe a try was only a joke. I’d rather see you with Tezuka then with this noisome guy…

“That’s it for today.”

The training passed Tezuka without him noticing. He couldn’t concentrate at all and his thoughts always turned to the smiling face of the team’s prodigy. Like in trance he approached the club house. He took a long warm shower, hoping the water would wash away his thoughts. But it didn’t. The warm water caressing his skin just made him think about what it would be like, if the warmth didn’t come from the colorless liquid, but from Fuji’s skin.

Shaking his head Tezuka changed from warm to cold water. The effect was much better. While every cell of his body seemed to gain new energy his mind calmed. He finally finished and changed to his usual clothes. The other members had already left. When Tezuka found his way out of the house again, Oishi was already waiting for him.

“Tezuka, do you mind me accompaniing you?”

“I don’t.”

I really hope you don’t plan to ask questions about Syusuke again. It already hurts enough without my best friend strewing salt into my wounds.

After walking a while in silence Oishi decides to take his chance.

“You never told me you rejected him.”

Reject? Whom?

“Sorry, I don’t get what you’re talking about.”

“You never told me you rejected Fuji”

Why can’t you stop this Oishi? It’s hard enough to keep me from thinking about him, but how can I forget about him, if you’re asking questions day after day. I should have refused to walk home with you. Should have found an excuse. … But do I really want to refuse any feeling I have for Syusuke?It’s useless after all, because he knows. Everybody knows. Well, everybody but Syusuke…

“I didn’t.”

“You – didn’t?”

“No.”

“But why would he tell anybody that you had?”

Tezuka stopped in his tracks.

Is that it? Is that the reason why you didn’t show up for practise, Syusuke? … Don’t fool yourselves, Kunimitsu, you knew that before. … But he told somebody, about it, and I hope this person did a good job in comforting him. … Comforting him? That’s ought to be my job…

“When Fuji didn’t show up for practise the first time, Taka visited him and they talked.” Oishi answered the question that was written on Tezuka’s face. “After a while Fuji told him he couldn’t stand looking at you anymore. He thinks you might hate him, because he had told you about his feeling.”

“Why would I hate him for that?”

“I don’t know. But we both know Fuji. He’s kind of protective regarding his friends and family and would rather tell himself, that he had done something wrong then accept, that somebody else had made a mistake.”

“That sounds like him, doesn’t it?”

Yea, it does. Fuji would never want anybody to worry about him. He’d prefere to keep everything to himself and act as if nothing had happened. On the other hand he’s always the first one to see right through anybody who’s trying to hide his problem. He always sees right through me and is there to comfort me. But I wasn’t there for him… I was the one hurting him after all…

“I think you should talk to him.”

“He’s avoiding me.”

And he’s not going to stop that. I have no clue what he’s doing all day but I doubt he’s staying at home waiting for me to call. He probably doesn’t even expect me to think about him anymore. He could be anywere… And this is Tokyo we’re talking about.

“I never knew that would be a hinderence for you.”

It usually wouldn’t. But this is different, this is Syusuke. And he’s doing a good job in avoiding me. I haven’t seen him since the very day he told me he loved me. And there’s only one event he can’t possibly drop just to make sure we don’t meet. And that would be graduation. But graduation is only two day’s before my mother and I are going to leave for Germany. And that’s way too late.

“You’re right, I need to find him.”

When Tezuka – who had been staring at the pavement so far – looked up, Oishi was gone.

You’re right, Oishi. I have been waiting far too long. Thank you for not giving up on me.

— — —

Fuji was at the libary standing in front of a big shelf looking for books about photography. He already had one in his hands and was flipping through its pages. It was about special techniques inculdind tricks on how the photographer could achieve special effects in his photos.

That sounds good. I haven’t been experimenting with my camera for quite a time. Looks like my mind was way to busy with other things. No doubt about that, but I have to move on. I have to move on so that I would be able to face him at the airport at least. I could never forgive me, if I didn’t show up to tell him good bye. No matter how much it’s going to hurt, I have to be strong. A gutless friend is the last thing Kunimitsu would need…

Mh, this one looks more complicated. And I would need a special objective for my camera if I wanted to try this. An objective that’s probably far too expencive to buy right now. But I could try to do something similar with a more simple equipment.

Reading through some lines he never had a chance to react, when strong hands forced him to turn around and pushed his back against the bookshelf. Cought by surprise Fuji droped the book.